Happy 4th of July!

T'was the fourth of July this past weekend and it wouldn't be so without people drinking and playing with fire-works.

Much fun was had at the residence of Josh's relatives.

Included was food, drink and games along with the aforementioned firecrackers.

Josh and Kelly took on Frommer and Lori in a rigorous game of corn-holing in which Kelly attempted to apply the sub-standard Ohio rule-set which claims points can be scored via the bean-bag "rolling off the ground and onto the board". Said suggestion was unanimously rejected.

Later on:

-- In a conversation that shall live in infamy - John Key (the intern) earned three new nicknames: KeyJohn, KeyJ and ************ (The third nickname has been censored due to a political incorrectness violation)

-- The group of us set out into a field to set of some of the more expensive fireworks and it was loads of fun . . . until Kelly accidentally knocked over one of the tubes and almost launched the firework AT Josh's uncle. It exploded on the ground and fortunately no one was hurt.

Assemble the Team!

Monday June 8th 2010 - Day One!

The following occurs between the hours of 4:00 AM and 6:00 AM

Events occur in quasi-real time.

We mostly assemble at the Blue Violet. Mostly, in that Justin and John will meet us at the airport. A couple of us, myself and Cory included, have expertly packed all we need for the week into our carry on bag, and thus have an empty check-in bag for stuff to be donated. Said items include a few hundred tennis balls, so many tennis balls.

Mrs. Hustead is kind enough to drive us in the Hustead van - she also brings along Jimmy and a pizza.

At the airport:

As it happened, Justin fell from his attic ladder, bruising his arm, leg and body in the fall, but overall, he is ok.

I sit next to Micheal and John at the terminal and across the aisle between the seats, are Greg F. and Heather and Greg tells a story regarding a losing lottery ticket. Mike's solution is sell it to a blind man (A Dumb & Dumber reference - Jim Carey sells a dead parrot to a blind kid). After a bit of laughing, Greg comes over and informs him that the man sitting a few seats away is, himself, blind - awkward.

Not too long after, it occurs to me that there is a slight problem. After conferring with Mike and John (and Cory later), we all agree that there aren't enough single girls going on the trip (there were, in fact, zero).

We pray before boarding.

6:00 AM - 8:00 AM

Flight to Houston - on a small plane . . . with only one row of overhead compartments.

Whilst in Houston: Had 45 min to get to proper terminal and board. Made typical "cart jokes" and a couple of people grabbed some coffee in the interim.

Arrived in Guatemala City at approximately 11:00 AM Guatemala time (about the same as Rocky Mountain I would suppose)!

11:00 AM - 11:00 PM-ish

Cheerful reception from Armando, Karina and Mynor! They have a van from the school for most of us to ride in.

From the airport we paid visit to a local church and patronized a nearby hot dog stand (chefs note: Hot dogs with guacamole weren't too bad).

Our original plan was to climb a volcano the first day we were here - however, since it erupted the other week, we have to make alternate plans. These plans include some of us fixing up a house and the rest cleaning an area (Myself, Cory, Frommer, Lori, John, Greg F., Heather and Karina). This plan somehow went from cleaning ash to digging a drainage ditch near a compost site. We had barely begun to work when a rainstorm forced us to seek shelter. After a slightly too long period of wind-driven rain and thunder, we continued and actually accomplished quite a bit.

At the conclusion of the days event, we gathered at a house which is used by missionaries. From what I was told, they live there most of the year, but were away in the states visiting relatives. It was a nice house - really nice. It had electricity, running water (hot and cold), four bedrooms, four bathrooms (of which, only one did NOT have a shower), washer/dryer, dishwasher, inside a gated community and also had it's own wall, steel driveway door and security personnel.

To put this into a bit of perspective here:

1: Maybe half of the population lives below the poverty line.
2: Many people live in sheds, shantys and/or on slopes of hills due to lack of space that are vulnerable to earthquakes and mudslides.
3: Electricity and running water are, for the most part, luxuries whilst hot water is practically non-existent as we (in the states) know it.
4: Usually people claiming to be Christian missionaries will at least make an attempt to spend the most of the money spent toward helping the people of the country/community that they have traveled to, which usually doesn't lead to living in one of the nicer homes/apt in the area.
5: It was commented that this house is actually nicer than several apt/homes in the Beaver Falls area.

Devils advocate moment: While this house did (and for the most part was) on the extravagant side for Guatemala and what seemed like greed on the part of the home owners, there is still this part of me that wants to take a minute and make an attempt to see things from what may be their perspective.

(Note: These three points are speculative and not based on information gathered or learned.)

1: We did not know their income level or job status (or more specifically, the ratio of money used for this house - maybe $300 a month - to money used to help the people of Guatemala)
2: What possible requirements may or may not have come from the Church that may have been sponsoring them.
3: There could have been nicer/more expensive homes that we did not see.


Later on in the night - Laura and Edgar came by to visit. It was nice to see them and we had much to discuss.

(Travel note: I really haven't experienced the "culture shock" nor have I really felt like I have traveled over a thousand miles to a foreign country - I hope this means I'm at a point where I could go anywhere and do anything the Lord calls me to. I'm also hoping this is a correct analysis.)

From Sinkhole to Sinkhole

Tomorrow, this reporter will join 16 other people (almost 1/3 of Ignite Church) on a missions trip to Guatemala. The second trip to that country and third overall missions trip and all in the span of one year!

Going are: Pastor Cory, Josh, Kelly, Justin, John (who is also our intern), Jeremy (who is called Frommer), Lori, Zack and Natalie, The Winich family (Greg and Deb with son Michael), Heather and Greg, Corey Sobah (a co-worker of Kelly's at the infamous Olive Garden) and myself (James, who is called Quigs).

As it happens, two weeks previous to the scheduled trip - mount Pacaya erupted, sending ash into Guatemala city and temporarily closing the airport. Later, tropical storm Agatha, blew over, resulting in mudslides and a large sinkhole in the country's capitol city. The sinkhole, much like the one in East Rochester (between a Pizza Hut and Get-Go gas station) swallowed a three story clothing factory and caused an evacuation of the immediate area.

The group from Ignite will spend most of their time in a small village on a mountainside not far from the country's border to Honduras.

This reporter will document events in great detail as they unfold.

BREAKING!: President Obama Urges Congress to Outlaw Crime!

President Barrack Hussein Obama, in an emergency press conference at 4 AM this morning, urged congress to outlaw crime. The half-asleep press corpse slowly filled the room before White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs welcomed them a creepily-cheerful "Good Morning!" The Press Secretary then announced that the President would personally announce his request for Congress himself.

After the half hour that was required to set up the four tele-prompters Mr. Obama has with him at all times, the President gave this message:

"Good Morning, Due to the hour, I will be quick. Due to unprecedented amounts of crime, I have forwarded a 10,000 page bill to Congress in the hopes that they will disregard their own political parties and come together and outlaw all crime. Thank you and may Alla . . .um, I mean God, Bless America."

The 10,000 page bill, which Mr. Obama referenced during his 30-second speech, doesn't specifically outline which illegal activities will be outlawed. However, the proposed bill does make vague references to "guns", "drugs", "bad people" and "kryptonite". In a particular section, the bill also calls for all fines, jail time and other punishments to be doubled for criminals who commit crimes on Sundays. Our News-room has yet to discover what, precisely, the term "other punishments" refers to.

In the final 100 pages, the bill also enacts a special task-force to enforce this new bill. The task-force includes the following members:

RoboCop, Judge Dredd, Bobba Fett, Batman (who insisted on being the only person to enforce the new bill inside Gotham City Limits), Superman (who will enforce everything EXCEPT the section pertaining to Kryptonite), Freddy Kruger (who will assist with "thought-crime" punishment) and a contingent of 300 Spartans who will be lead by Chuck Norris, Master Chief and the spoon from "Beauty and The Beast".

The task-force will also be, occasionally, assisted by the "Super Best Friends", which, is comprised by Jesus, Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Joseph Smith, Krishna, Lao Tzu and Seaman (who insisted everyone was mis-pronouncing his name).

Ignite Church Missions trip to Haiti: 15 March 2010: Day Eight

We have utilized some logic and have everything that need be checked go in one bag instead of multiples. I also met an interesting fellow from Philadelphia. He seemed to have read the Constitution and resembled a young Chuck Norris.

For some reason, Bernard accidentally grabbed the wrong cell phone when leaving the house and went to switch it back . . . he didn't make it back to the airport in time to make the flight.

Arriving in Florida, myself and Sarah grab some pizza and set out to finally find out what a "fancy" is. The person told us it was a muffin . . . we were disappointed. We then, having went out of our way to leave the 'secure' area, decide to get one of these "fancies". Being kind, she offers to let me decide which "fancy" to procure with the caveat that should I choose the Honey-Nut-Whatever, she would punch me in the face. My response was, of course, that should I choose that one, I would deserve to be punched. I chose the Double-Chocolate, to which Sarah agreed. We then headed back to the terminal, having the "fancy" x-rayed along the way.

Getting on board the plane takes way too long. In attempts to avoid paying fees for checked bags, many passengers take too much as carry on and the flight is delayed just long enough that when we get to DC, we find our plane to Pittsburgh has already left without us. Some people flip out and yell at the Airport workers.

After the situation gets sorted out, sort of, we look for a place to hunker down for the night. The Airline offers a free flight the next morning, but we either have to sleep in the airport or pay for a hotel . . . we chose the airport. Myself and Cory begin scouting for a spot when we come across a bar (that's closed) that has the Lakers game (that's really the only thing that Cory was worried about) on the TV. He pulls up a chair and watches while the rest of us gather in the airport chapel for the night.

In the morning, and after our new flight is delayed an hour, we finally make it back to Pittsburgh. Once home, I spent most of the rest of the day sleeping.

Ignite Church Missions trip to Haiti: 14 March 2010: Day Seven

Today we head out to Bernard's orphanage where we had earlier been invited to their Sunday church service. It was a unique experience. We each got up and gave a short testimony about our experiences in Haiti and then Cory got up and gave a sermon regarding how shakable the world is and how unshakable God is. Following, we played some games (or rather, we watched them play soccer) and distributed food to them. We then taught them how to play tag and monkey-in-the-middle.

Later that day, we decided upon going up a mountain (not particularly fun considering myself, Cory and Josh were in the very back of the SUV cramped together and bouncing with every bump and often hitting our heads upon the ceiling.) that overlooked Port Au Prince. Along the way we came across an elderly lady that had moved to Haiti in 1947. She was in great shape for being 80. She told us of a nurse who is also from the Pittsburgh area (specifically New Kensington).

Continuing up the mountain, we get to the peak where the French had built a fort in 1804 and from what we could see (without actually being able to enter) it had survived the earthquake mostly unscathed.

Riding in the very back of the SUV (as mentioned previously) has been and rather painful, especially going up then back down this mountain. Cory and I have been the volunteers to ride back there most of our time here. A few times it has been Cory and Josh and other times it has been all three of us. Occasionally, Kelly offers to ride in the back so one of us can sit in an actual seat, but we (being gentlemen) decline the offer.

Being that this is our last night here, we go to a local bar and try a beer called "el Presidente". It's alright - being a pillsner and thus, a light beer. There is this dance room in the back and Sarah and Bernard go and check it out. Upon their return, Sarah notes that it is rather lackluster. Later on, Sarah comments how North American and Northern European men can't dance very well. Despite the fact I don't dance very well, I accept the challenge and we dance for a bit in the dimly lit room. Next, Sarah and Bernard went in for some dancing.

Our next course of action, after dropping off Karen and Sarah at the house, is to go bar hoping for a bit (Bernard even let's me drive for a bit:). We find a few places and have fun. Despite a minor musical disagreement between myself and Josh regarding the radio, this is a mostly uneventful excursion.

EXTRA! EXTRA! Group of Beaver County Residents Take Advantage of Pirates "Buck Night"!

Wednesday Night, the Pirates had a special "Buck Night" - Tickets and hot dogs for a dollar each!

The group, which was mostly members of Ignite with friends and relatives invited along, enjoyed a clear day of aimiable weather as the Pirates and LA Dodgers fought out a close game in which Garret Jones hit a three-run homer before the Bucs went eight innings without another score. The game eventually went into an extra inning before Bobby Cedeno pulled off the base hit to send the fourth and game-winning run into home plate. After tonight's win, the Bucs are now 2-0 (They beat the Dodgers on Monday in their home-opener 11-5) and will face the Dodgers again tomorrow afternoon.

In other sports news:

-- The Penguins (45-27-7) will host the NY Islanders Thursday in what will be Melon Arena's final ever regular season game. The Pens have three games remaining (two of which are against the playoff-hopeless Islanders) and are currently 4th in conference standings (The current playoff scenario can be found here).

-- Tiger Woods returns to golf - and Nike Commercials.

-- Big Ben and Holmes still in hot water. Lawyers are hopeful that evidence will prove them not guilty.

UPDATE: Holmes has been traded to the "J-E-R-K-S Jets! Jets! Jets!" for a 5th round pick.